Ready for take off

(original post Jan 13)

Went in Thurs for the (*insert doom and gloom music*) HSG and ....

I'M ALL CLEAR!

The me and the doc were surprised actually since my history was making him think that endo was blocking my tubes. But nope. He's guessing if I do have endo that it's a mild case and at least it's not involving the tubs. Woo hoo!

The man wanted to go in but he was told all he could do was wait right outside the doors. So I went in and sat on the chair waiting for the doc and I started to cry. I was so afraid of the impending pain that I just broke down. I will say though I'm so glad I took the valium and the 800 mg of ibuprophin. The doc came in and saw me crying. He was all "oh honey, what's wrong. Ok here, we'll talk before we start ok?" And proceeded to tell me how many he's done, that he'll tell me when the usual pain would start, he would go slow, and he did this procedure on his wife--who did kick him in the face. So it would be ok.

I composed myself and sat up on the table. I told him to make it festive and fun I should have put glitter all over the place. He laughed. I laid down and felt the usual speculum go in and no big woop. Then he told me to cough and...

I screamed so loud that I knew people outside heard me. The pain felt like someone took a needle and shoved it in my cervix. I was dizzy for a bit because it was that bad and started to cry a little and got so scared. Then I felt another odd pain like either a clamp or another speculum shoved up my cervix and screamed "THAT SUCKS" so loud that I"m sure more people heard me. That was it I knew I was a gonner and was closing my eyes. The nurse held me down and told me I had to open my legs more because I was squishing whatever clamp thingy that was on my cervix. I spread 'em and it felt slightly better.

I felt the little catheter baloon inflate and it felt weird. Not hurt but my usual crampy pain that I feel every day so it was ok. Then he said 'here comes the dye" and was prepping for severe pain. So far, nothing. Then he said roll to the right then back on my back then to the left. And nothing happened! No pain!

He then said. "Ok you did good, we're all done."

We're all done? I felt nothing but that cervix thingy. He took the cath out which was weird. But that was it. I was so happy it was over.

He then showed me the results and I knew what clear was like. I clapped and said "oh my god, I'm clear?!" He goes "wow, you do know how to read these things."

He said I had something a little weird at the top of my uterus like a little bump but no big deal and my cervix was crooked like a question mark. But tubes looked fabulous.

I left the room and my husband was sheet white. He stands up and goes, "oh my god what happened are you ok? I heard you scream and are you ok? I told him yea and the good news but he was still shaking after hearing me through the doors.

Later we went to a restaurant where he got me a chocolate shake and treated me like a fragile porcelain doll. Hell, I'll take it. He gave me a kiss on the head and said, "I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. Thank you for giving it a try for our babies." (ok you can stop gagging, it was sweet).

I laid in bed all day just to relax and soak in that I had pain that I would never, ever forget. But I'm grateful for the news. On to blood tests for progesterone and an ultrasound.

The man still needs to do his part and yes, I'm using my pain experience as the ultimate guilt. If I can get something jabbed inside me, then he can jiz in a cup.

Before we went to sleep he giggled and said, "While I'm glad you're out of pain and it's over, I will always associate this experience with your true nature and style by screaming THAT SUCKS so loud you scared 3 guys waiting for xrays down the hall. That's my girl."

Yea I can only imagine my winning phrases when I give birth. If this is a slight glimmer of what pushing a head through my cervix feels like, that will indeed truly suck.