Went to dinner for a pregnancy announcement yesterday. It was ok and I'm happy for them. But I did feel a little "meh" when she announced that her pregnancy was a result of trying only once.
Yes one time.
I mean, come on. I know that's rare, but could I feel anymore inadequate?
The rest of the dinner was non stop "did you know when you're pregnant, xyz happens?"
Um seeing that I'm going through infertility treatments, no, I DON'T know what it feels like to get xyz when you're pregnant.
Shut up and eat your pie.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
He's taking requests
When we were at the RE's office I saw some lady with her mom and go to the man, "Why would you bring your mom here??? So friggen gross." We overheard because she was having triplets!!
Triplets. Scary. The man goes 'you got 3 eggs in there for possibilities, right?" I was like "no way man, no way". Can you imagine? There's just no room in women for 3 kids!!!
And trust me, 8 eggs total, 3 of which are all good chances is just wrong. Talk about lead weights. All I'm asking is for 1 to take. Here's hoping!!!
Two other guys were in the office yesterday and all I could do was giggle. My man beat them to the punch and all I could think were these guys in rooms next to each other beating off. How creepy. You know everyone next to you is doing the same thing. See, I would be that jerk and either moan so they could hear me or knock on the wall and go "are you done?"
When he was done he goes, "read the label when they show it to you." So I did and it said 'dillweed' " and in the notes section he put "Better than what Russell Crowe has to offer". He loves ribbing on Russell.
While we were waiting our standard 10 min for things to settle he grabs the exam room light, and ladies, we know what light I'm talking about, and started singing "Suspicious Minds" like Elvis (he's really, really good at it too). And grabed the long "hoo ha" swabs that were in a box on a table and started playing the drums on my tummy.
When we left the room the doc told us "Nice Elvis."
For some reason this IUI felt different. I got no cramping. Being monitored, I now know what my levels were at peak---LH 61.1 from a 8.6 in two days! "Little guy" count? 60 million. Sounds promising to me.
I will say though that the Ovidrel worked. Or at least I think it worked. About midnight I FELT the egg(s) release in the left ovary. Ok I know. Weirdo. But seriously. I know Clomid sore, holy cow I got too many eggs and I think I have OHSS vs. something slightly popping and then pushing out like a marble through a tube. And yes, it was weird and painful. But not horrible painful. Just ew painful. Within an hour all of my super ovarian pain was gone.
We won't know until next week. I don't want to get my hopes up like last time and monitor every little symptom. Then again, I have no symptoms. Everything is completely different than the last time.
Last time I was Super Crab for 2 weeks straight. This time? Two days. Last time I was cramping after the IUI where I thought Aunt Flo was coming. This time? Nothing. The only pain I felt was super ovarian pain and that went away by midnight when the egg popped out. I think I was super hungry about now the last time. Not sure. But the last two days I've been hungry like the wolf. Yes. I said it.
So who knows? Taking it easy and trying not to think about it. No way am I testing early like last time because the shot will give me a false positive. All I know is that I have one more IUI try after this and we're off to IVF in the fall (I'm taking the summer off). I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.
So here's good thoughts and more waffles, donuts, chocolate milk, a burrito bowl, iced tea, and more water to shake your pee stick at.
Triplets. Scary. The man goes 'you got 3 eggs in there for possibilities, right?" I was like "no way man, no way". Can you imagine? There's just no room in women for 3 kids!!!
And trust me, 8 eggs total, 3 of which are all good chances is just wrong. Talk about lead weights. All I'm asking is for 1 to take. Here's hoping!!!
Two other guys were in the office yesterday and all I could do was giggle. My man beat them to the punch and all I could think were these guys in rooms next to each other beating off. How creepy. You know everyone next to you is doing the same thing. See, I would be that jerk and either moan so they could hear me or knock on the wall and go "are you done?"
When he was done he goes, "read the label when they show it to you." So I did and it said 'dillweed' " and in the notes section he put "Better than what Russell Crowe has to offer". He loves ribbing on Russell.
While we were waiting our standard 10 min for things to settle he grabs the exam room light, and ladies, we know what light I'm talking about, and started singing "Suspicious Minds" like Elvis (he's really, really good at it too). And grabed the long "hoo ha" swabs that were in a box on a table and started playing the drums on my tummy.
When we left the room the doc told us "Nice Elvis."
For some reason this IUI felt different. I got no cramping. Being monitored, I now know what my levels were at peak---LH 61.1 from a 8.6 in two days! "Little guy" count? 60 million. Sounds promising to me.
I will say though that the Ovidrel worked. Or at least I think it worked. About midnight I FELT the egg(s) release in the left ovary. Ok I know. Weirdo. But seriously. I know Clomid sore, holy cow I got too many eggs and I think I have OHSS vs. something slightly popping and then pushing out like a marble through a tube. And yes, it was weird and painful. But not horrible painful. Just ew painful. Within an hour all of my super ovarian pain was gone.
We won't know until next week. I don't want to get my hopes up like last time and monitor every little symptom. Then again, I have no symptoms. Everything is completely different than the last time.
Last time I was Super Crab for 2 weeks straight. This time? Two days. Last time I was cramping after the IUI where I thought Aunt Flo was coming. This time? Nothing. The only pain I felt was super ovarian pain and that went away by midnight when the egg popped out. I think I was super hungry about now the last time. Not sure. But the last two days I've been hungry like the wolf. Yes. I said it.
So who knows? Taking it easy and trying not to think about it. No way am I testing early like last time because the shot will give me a false positive. All I know is that I have one more IUI try after this and we're off to IVF in the fall (I'm taking the summer off). I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.
So here's good thoughts and more waffles, donuts, chocolate milk, a burrito bowl, iced tea, and more water to shake your pee stick at.
And showtime
Drug sitting on dresser to get room temp
Man laying in bed
cotton balls in order
alcohol bottle in order
watching video for injection and getting non stop willies and heebee jeebees
Check.
Follicle count good today--right ovary 11. Left ovary two of them---19 and 11. Here's hoping one sticks. IUI tomorow morning. I got lucky and can work from home because today? I'm miserable. Bloated, pain, even my leg went numb. I didn't get these symptoms the last time so part of me wonders if this time it's really working. Kind of like 'you're soaking in it'.
The nurse said we 'can do it' just as a backup. And of course, overly considerate, OCD me goes to her, "Um...then it will be one big mess for the doc to see tomorrow." She said don't worry, it's common. Ew.
This is so surreal to me. Even a year ago I was all Miss There's no Fucking Way I'm Ever Doing Injectables. And while it's just one shot this month, I guess the motto for this year is "never say never."
I also said many moons ago I would never show my goods to a man doc. That too was proven wrong. But at least I made him laugh with my "should have made it all festive-like and put some glitter down there."
Yea. I got a million of them.
And obviously so does my husband. The nurse was still amazed that his count was 520million. She goes "Jesus Christ!! SuperSperm Man! We only require 20." I told her, "yea don't let his head get any bigger. He constantly boasts and wants a shirt with a big "S" for Sperminator."
25 min and counting.
Did I ever tell you how much I hate needles?
heebee
jeebee
Man laying in bed
cotton balls in order
alcohol bottle in order
watching video for injection and getting non stop willies and heebee jeebees
Check.
Follicle count good today--right ovary 11. Left ovary two of them---19 and 11. Here's hoping one sticks. IUI tomorow morning. I got lucky and can work from home because today? I'm miserable. Bloated, pain, even my leg went numb. I didn't get these symptoms the last time so part of me wonders if this time it's really working. Kind of like 'you're soaking in it'.
The nurse said we 'can do it' just as a backup. And of course, overly considerate, OCD me goes to her, "Um...then it will be one big mess for the doc to see tomorrow." She said don't worry, it's common. Ew.
This is so surreal to me. Even a year ago I was all Miss There's no Fucking Way I'm Ever Doing Injectables. And while it's just one shot this month, I guess the motto for this year is "never say never."
I also said many moons ago I would never show my goods to a man doc. That too was proven wrong. But at least I made him laugh with my "should have made it all festive-like and put some glitter down there."
Yea. I got a million of them.
And obviously so does my husband. The nurse was still amazed that his count was 520million. She goes "Jesus Christ!! SuperSperm Man! We only require 20." I told her, "yea don't let his head get any bigger. He constantly boasts and wants a shirt with a big "S" for Sperminator."
25 min and counting.
Did I ever tell you how much I hate needles?
heebee
jeebee
Down for the count
Round 1 of the IUI didn't work. The worse part is that my periods always mimic symptoms of pregnancy but when you have a procedure to get you pregnant, you actually believe you're pregnant. And so did the man. I was super, super, super crabby, tired, nauseous, moody, bloated, implantation bleeding....everything. Except I spotted 3 days before my period came and then bam, it came.
Sure I tested on day 7, which was stupid but I just had to get it out of my system because 2 weeks for news was enternity. I rather know that I saw a negative to prepare for the future. On day 10 I tested again with more hope and it was neg. On day 12 I spotted hoping it was prespot because you hear some women go through that. Nope. The next day I woke up to some cramps and hello! Aunt Flo was here in her drunken glory.
Sigh
So now we're on round 2 of clomid with an injectable. Yes, an injectable right to the stomach. Being the drama queen/afraid of needles, you would have thought someone told me to hari kari myself or something. I watched this video and started to tear up at work. Thank god the man used to be a vet tech because he's my shot giver. And of course the drama starts.
"Don't you wiggle or move or fuss now".
"Well you follow my rules of not showing me the needle, telling me when it comes, count 1,2,3 and then let me hold my breath and do it."
And this conversation went on for 30 min back and forth because he knows I'm a freak. I wish the nurse would give it to me because it puts me in a situation of not backing out. With the man, I'm going to freak.
Thank god it's subcutaneous though. And did you know that these meds are made out of pregnant women's pee? I mean what do they have some sort of cattle call of "Pee here, get your preggo pee here."
Agghhhh aggghhh agggghhh
I just took my first dose of Clomid.
And I'm scared.
1. this means we are in full swing of Operation Baby Drop.
2. after hearing all the Clomid horror stories, I'm scared of the Super Bitch Mode. And everyone around me is terrified too.
3. I'm hoping the doc doesn't use the pirate hook on the ol cervix for the Russell Crowe turkey baster
4. this could very well mean by Xmas.... Me...a baby...woah!
And I'm scared.
1. this means we are in full swing of Operation Baby Drop.
2. after hearing all the Clomid horror stories, I'm scared of the Super Bitch Mode. And everyone around me is terrified too.
3. I'm hoping the doc doesn't use the pirate hook on the ol cervix for the Russell Crowe turkey baster
4. this could very well mean by Xmas.... Me...a baby...woah!
Behind the green door
Today was the man's test at the RE. It's been a non stop on and off cancelling of appointments and rescheduling since January. You would think I was asking him to get circumsized or something.
Anyway he went because now that I'm Clomid, he has to go to see wassssuuuppppp with the little swimmers so the doc can confidently say that IUI is the right first step.
I'm sitting at work knowing he'll call for directions. The phone rang. Let's just say he didn't want directions.
Instead I got a play by play of what the room was like.
"You know, 2004 Playboys aren't really doing it for me."
What type of porn do they have?
"Ugh...here are the videos....Chasey Lane something or other. America's hottest bartenders."
America's hottest bartenders?
"Yep. Dems the choices. This is going to be a while."
And speaking of Chasey Lane, I haven't heard that name since the early 90s. Is she still alive? By the sound of her website (yes sound), she is.
So anyway. I go to lunch and he calls me back in TWO HOURS and asks if I checked my email. I finally get back to the office thinking he took pics of the video or something.
Nope.
Now, when giving a sample, you have to abstain for a while. Seeing that Aunt Flo knocked on my door, that's 1 week of no action, Jackson. Yesterday he was moaning that he was going to die. I told him to stfu and go to the doc an unload. Leave me alone plus he couldn't so, HA!
Anyway, the pic?
It was a pic of the "goods". A big ol sample cup of goods. I immediately gagged.
It came with the text of " I AM A JIZZMILL GOD!"
That's my man.
Anyway he went because now that I'm Clomid, he has to go to see wassssuuuppppp with the little swimmers so the doc can confidently say that IUI is the right first step.
I'm sitting at work knowing he'll call for directions. The phone rang. Let's just say he didn't want directions.
Instead I got a play by play of what the room was like.
"You know, 2004 Playboys aren't really doing it for me."
What type of porn do they have?
"Ugh...here are the videos....Chasey Lane something or other. America's hottest bartenders."
America's hottest bartenders?
"Yep. Dems the choices. This is going to be a while."
And speaking of Chasey Lane, I haven't heard that name since the early 90s. Is she still alive? By the sound of her website (yes sound), she is.
So anyway. I go to lunch and he calls me back in TWO HOURS and asks if I checked my email. I finally get back to the office thinking he took pics of the video or something.
Nope.
Now, when giving a sample, you have to abstain for a while. Seeing that Aunt Flo knocked on my door, that's 1 week of no action, Jackson. Yesterday he was moaning that he was going to die. I told him to stfu and go to the doc an unload. Leave me alone plus he couldn't so, HA!
Anyway, the pic?
It was a pic of the "goods". A big ol sample cup of goods. I immediately gagged.
It came with the text of " I AM A JIZZMILL GOD!"
That's my man.
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